im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
