I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
