I look better un-naked...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
