I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I puked a lego.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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