just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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