Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
