I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
