Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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