I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
