you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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