Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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