Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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