I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i've created a new STD.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
