Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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