It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
