so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Come see our sink grown plant.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your penis caused this!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
