Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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