Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
