just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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