that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
