I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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