I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize