found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
