I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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