Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
