I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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