You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
