Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
