She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm going to jail i love you
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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