Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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