i just google imaged poop.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
