a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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