I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
