omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
