we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
