This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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