I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
