maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
