At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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