We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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