i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found puke in my bra..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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