Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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