You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
