he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
