Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
