My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
false alarm, still single
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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