I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
