Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
