How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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