My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
