I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
