Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If I die, sorry about rent.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
