"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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