He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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