i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
