Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
